"The Official 2007 NBA Draft Summary: Part 1"

"Golden State Warriors"

"Chris Mullin, we need to know! Why did you decide to trade for Wright?"

"Well Brandon Wright is as looonnnnnnngg as anything... What?"

"Huh, huh... Long"

"Los Angles Lakers"

"Let me tell you something right now!! Sun Yue, is going to be the chinese Toni Kukoc!"

"Not only that but his favorite rapper is Usher! Kobe's gotta be a happy man out there Jay"

"Milwaukee Bucks"

"Yi! How do you feel about being selected to the Milwaukee Bucks?!!!

"Well its opportunity for Yi.... I get to play in NBA and.... and.. I can't do this. Yi hate Bucks!! Help me Stuart, help me escape!!!!!"

"How To Draft A Bust"

The Foreign Guy Method:

This method has been passed down from one generation to the next. Take the Euro guy... Or the Chinese guy. It doesn't really matter, as long as nobody knows anything about them. Not even you! The lesser the better. In fact strive to find a player coming from the most obscure of leagues. A league so remote, they might not even have cameras yet! But if they do, they should provide nice healthy footage like this:

I retrieved that one straight out of Joe Dumar's personal stash! Remember, fans love the unknown. Always do the unexpected. Superstar college ball player leading his team to the final 4?? I don't think so! You need to draft that one guy Tskzievillizicrapllliiia. For reference sakes, if you can pronounce it, he probably isn't foreign enough. Don't make the wrong choice!

The best part about drafting the foreign guy is well, they'll work for anything. It doesn't matter what the team, they'll stay loyal. Even if you're in Canada! But there is one exception... Milwaukee. Yes, Milwaukee isn't quite a favorite among foreigners.. Or anyone for that matter. But fear not aspiring Bucks GMs! There's hope yet!

The Larry Harris Method:

If somehow you've ended up in Milwaukee and unable to escape this method should be applied. Is there a player that doesn't wanna come to your team? Draft him anyway. In fact laugh while doing it. If you can't leave Milwaukee nobody else can either.

'The Refusal'

One problem you might run into is lack of cooperation. Every once in a while, some player will think he can out think you. He won't put his signature down on the dotted line and make demands. Fortunately, this is a minor issue for the Larry Harris method! Here take a look at how Larry himself gets the contracts signed:

'Watch the Bucks'

Larry's own patented method is as scary as they come. Simply take the resisting player to a closed room and force them to watch a Bucks game. After five, maximum of ten minutes (though no one has ever come close), the boredom will become so large the player will sign anything! Just make it stop!

21)

"I have a brilliant idea! I will trade Elton Brand for Tyson Chandler and make my own version of Duncan and Robinson... "

"But mine will suck"

22)

"Darling, give my compliments to the chef! Best meatballs I've ever had"

"Oh he'd be so happy to hear it! I'll go get him"

"I understand you enjoyed my balls sir"

"Yes, they were delicious! Absolutely spectacular! Can I ask what the recipe is my good man?"

"Ask Chris"

23)

"Getting drafted by the team you didn't want: 5 million dollars"

"Threatening to sit out the year rather than playing in freakin' Milwaukee: Free publicity"

"Being guaranteed 25 minutes a game and showing up whenever you feel like it.... Priceless"

24)

Spurs/Nuggets Series 2007:

"Jr get in there we need a 3, I want you to shoot it"

*Clang*

"Don't even look at me, just go back to the bench"

*After Game*

"I don't know what the hell he was thinking. I told him if you're in the game don't shoot a 3, but I guarantee it won't happen again on my watch. He certainly didn't get the idea from me."

25)

"Better Basketball with Steve Nash"

"Quality Guaranteed Or Your Money Back!"

"When Keeping it Real Goes Wrong"

"It's over... There's nothing you can do"

"Oh there's plenty we can do Andrei"

"Like what? Cut my contract? Force me to go back to Europe? I dare you, just try it. I will not budge"

"Worse than that"

"Please, what could be worse? You bluff"

"Milwaukee"

"My god... You wouldn't"

"We keep it real on the Jazz"

"Please, I have a family!"

*Later*

"How about Kirilenko for... Uh... Redd"

"I don't know about that guys.. Why would I do that?"

"Well uh... He doesn't wanna play in Milwaukee"

"I'll take it!!!!!!"