We here at the Knicks appreciate you coming down in support of your favorite team! That being whatever team the Knicks are playing that night. You may have seen Lakers superstar Kobe Bryant score 61 points in our house this week… That’s making history, and that’s the Knicks superstar guarantee!

Some people (mean people) have criticized our team for poor defense in the past, but they’re just not using the proper terms. We like to think of it as “offensive enhancement” We’re simply good sportsmen, and here at the Knicks we believe everyone deserves to win… As long as they’re not playing for us. I’d also like to clear the air on some rumors. Rumor has it we won’t miss the lottery this year. I’m proud to say those rumors are false! Of course there’s always a chance the rest of the league goes on strike or gets injured leaving a wide-open chance for the Knicks! But we don’t like to discuss risks here at the Knicks. Unless you can bring them to us with 70 million dollar contracts over 6 years.  

Besides we value your free time! We know you have your favorite shows, and there’s some things in life that take priority over us. Like other teams. What’s that you’ve already stopped paying attention to this pamphlet? You say there’s a Lakers pamphlet going around?! We totally understand. See you next year, same time, same record! 

P.S….

Could you get us a copy of the Lakers pamphlet? Thanks.

Yours Truly,

The New York Knicks