'Wow! That was a nice dunk homie, ya got me! Hold on a sec,  I gotta make a quick phone call"

"It was really nice of you to hold this camp Mr. James. We were wondering if we could have a tape, a little memorabilia for the kids you know?"

"Oh, of course.  I'll get right on it sir"

"Hey, it's Lebron! Are there any recordings or tapes of today? Really, that's great!! Erase them"

Lebron James responded to Saturday's loss with the class and grace of a true English gentlemen.  Naturally this meant ignoring passe  rituals like handshakes and bouncing back to his moms. People need to understand, vitamin water and press conferences just don't mix!  James is simply a progressive man in a modern age.

"Okay Zydrunas, here's the gameplan, go stand over there under the hoop.. You know hoop?"

"Think so... I try get hookshot?"

"What?! Hell no, pass that shit to Lebron"

"Coach! We're down but I think we can still win! I'd like to take the last shot, can you set up a play?"

"Sasha, I'm gonna level with you... I'm not really an X's and O's kind of guy. Just pass that shit to Lebron"

"I don't give a damn if you scored West, what do you think you're doing upstaging me in front of the other players? I set a play!"

"What play? You just said to pass it to Lebron"

"I'm sorry am I talking to the coach of the year?! That's what I thought. Now get your ass on the bench West!"

"Shit's easy..."

1)

"Hold it!

"Hold it!!!!"

"Hold it!!!!!!"

"Flop!!!!!!!!!!"

2)

"Exciting NBA Finals between the Spurs and the Cavs!!!"

"Bang! What an exciting game between Lebron Hughes and Tim Bowen!!! Somebody picked up a foul, but I'll be damned if I can say their name correctly.... Bang!!!!!"

"Everything I predict will happen doesn't happen. I'm only here because Tom Tolbert felt the job was beneath him"

"Ratings":

3)

"Dr. Duncan M.D"

"Let me have a look at the patient"

"I--"

"I'm sorry there's nothing I can do"

"Duncan!!!!"

"Fine...."

*Later*

"The operation was a success but the patient didn't make it"

4)

"Dr. Buss! How do you respond to Kobe's allegation's that you're not trying to improve the Lakers?"

"Ko- Who? Sorry I'm busy right now"

5)

"Oden isn't walking out through that door"

"When Keeping it Real Goes Wrong"

"Pass it right back"

"No way. I'm keepin' it real!"

"Anderson Varejao is gonna take that shot! I can spot a man who keeps it real anywhere Jeff"

"How do you know what other players are thinking?"

"I can read minds"

"Looks like Spurs win Jeff"

"I'm sorry Lebron. It was my mistake. We're still cool right?"

"Sure man. No big deal. Me and you are like this!"

*10 Minutes After Game*

"Trade his ass Ferry"

"Yes sir!!!!!"

"Oh well. I kept it real"